About me. Jeez, are you sure you want to go there?
OK, but you’ve been warned…
Crap, where to start. The age old question of all authors.
Prologue? Nah, I hate prologues. Better to start with some action. Past or present? You probably want some nuggets about my past, but non-linear storytelling annoys me, so we’ll stick with the present.
Should we begin with the origins of my writing? Maybe, but that’s long and complicated. Shit.
Considering most About Me pages are a simple paragraph or two, I’ve already failed because this one is already several paragraphs long and you still don’t know jack.
So, I’m either a terrible writer… or I’m very mysterious. Let’s go with that one 😉
Diving into the vast expanse of my psyche will take more than just a paragraph or two (not to mention a few drinks, and a strong constitution). Here we go.
Or maybe not. To be fair, you’ll learn all about me as you read my books and blogs and rants. And you will read them…yes, you. I see you reading this.
*hypnotic gaze* READ MY BOOKS *end hypnotic gaze*
For now, I’ll just tell you some interesting facts to tide you over until my next (first, err, first published, whatever) book comes out (you’ll love it, or you won’t, I guess we’ll see).
But hey, you’ve stuck with me this far, so without further ado:
- I love sleeping. I can easily be in bed for 10 hours. Easy. Sometimes more.
- I love soda. Seriously, if it has carbonation, I’m all over it like… crap I can’t think of a good analogy. Maybe later.
- My toes are crooked, which is one of the reasons I hate feet. They’re so nasty, and mine are weird!
- I’ve never broken a bone, but hope to one day. I want to know how it feels. I used to want to be shot, to see how that feels (an author has to know these things ok, OK?!), but the hubby vetoed that one. Fine, whatever.
- I can watch the same movie like fifty times… maybe more. Definitely more. Pretty sure I’m up to like 73 viewings of Battle Los Angeles at this point. Don’t judge me.
There, are you satisfied? At least this wasn’t a traditional boring put you to sleep Zzzzzzz About Me page. You’re welcome.
I mean, how often can you read where an author lives (in a suitcase; don’t ask), how many kids they have (one too many), and what their favorite food is (pizza, definitely pizza) without dying of boredom?
At least this is super interesting.
Whatever, I think it’s interesting, and this is my website, so there.
K Thanks Bye!
What’s that? You want an actual author photo? I can’t imagine why, but OK, I guess: